Saturday, May 15, 2010

Argumentative essay Television Viewing draft 1#

Television set has becomes an important entertainment instrument and a necessity household product nowadays. Almost every household owns at least one television set (Sharif 1999). According to ATUS (2003), US residents allocate most of their leisure time on watching television. This fact is also supported by UK Time Use Survey (2000) which found that full time workers in UK spent most of their spare time on television, video and radio. Since people spent so much time in watching television, its potential effects are being disputed. I strongly believed that television viewing brings more harms than benefits especially among children. Television viewing triggers behavioural problems, affects development of thinking and leads to health problems.

Firstly, television viewing is the main cause for some poor behaviours among children. Most parents today prefer to leave their children in front of television when they are busying with their works. However, children are immature enough to interprete and analyse the content of the television programmes. Action movies can give a scenario to children that violence is a norm in community. Everything can be tackled with violence. They may end up being boisterous. In addition, teenagers tend to follow their idols blindly and imitate the characters portrayed in the movies (Sharif 1999). Antisocial behaviour like lack of attention and patience is the other impact of short segments and colourful modern children programmes. Kids are shaped to depress and give up easily when they face challenges in life.

On top of that, development of thinking process is severely affected from long period of television viewing (Sharif 1999). Imaginative and problem solving skills are not develop in the process of watching television as it is a passive activity. Colourful graphics and important messages are portrayed visually in the programs. It discourages critical thinking as all the dominant issues are showed directly (Leigh 2001). Children accept all the information conveyed and do not think via program shows. Moreover, Dr Geraldine, an educational psychologist asserts that students who watch excessive television programmes perform badly in school (Leigh 2001). It is believed that television distracts children from focusing in other works including homework.

Ultimately, television viewing can lead to health diseases. Sitting down to watch television is a sedentary lifestyle which is unhealthy (Rutherford 2002). This is supported by Sharif (1999). Additionally, less time is allocated for sports and exercise as shown by data collected from ATUS (2003) and UK Time Use Survey (2000). Physically inactive is detrimental to our health as well. This situation is worsened as most people prefer to grab some snacks during show time. All these junk food is high in calories, fats, sugar and salts which can lead to obesity and related illnesses (Rutherford 2002).

In a nutshell, the drawbacks of television watching outweigh its advantages. It is solely depending on how a person manages his or her time and what TV programmes he or she choose to watch. Nevertheless, we human beings tend to pick up bad habits more readily than accepting new and educational virtues.

3 comments:

  1. The introduction is well written. Try improving on these followings
    people spent so much time in watching television... i think the ‘’in’’ is unnecessary.

    I strongly believed that television viewing brings more harms than benefits especially among children. I think you should mention bring more harms than benefits to...”?(name a group EG To us..to humans..people) Then only mention especially to children. The way you wrote it doesn’t really make the essay flow.

    Haha i cant detect any shortcomings in your first paragraph. I think it is presented well. Though, i feel that maybe you should give example or explanation after this point. In addition, teenagers tend to follow their idols blindly and imitate the characters portrayed in the movies (Sharif 1999). U make it like u cramming the points without the explanation because after that point, u mentioned antisocial behaviour point.
    Note: if it is too long, maybe you should cut out of one of the points. Or add another paragraph. Dont be greedy my dear.

    2nd para is well written. Oh boy, i keep saying the same thing. =(

    3rd para. Sitting down to watch television is a sedentary lifestyle which is unhealthy (Rutherford 2002). This is supported by Sharif (1999). What Sharif said?? I think must write it in a way..this is supported by Sharif’s statement which is..???

    We are supposed to state our stance right? I feel you didn’t really insist which side to take. More like on the fence. Try using the word i ‘’strongly believed’’ that... Then give your opinion and suggestion.
    Note: Nevertheless, we human beings tend to pick up bad habits more readily than accepting new and educational virtues. It is a nice sentence but don’t end it this way. Try adding.. However with self discipline, we will be able ... (lost of words...haha figure out yourself..sorry)

    Your strength: your essay is always filled with points. Good points. Good usage of vacobs too.

    Weakness: Because of too many points, some paragraphs are crammed with points but less elaborations and examples.

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  2. I posted the 2nd draft dy..can u check for me again? the 2nd para and 4th para....thx yae...
    Thx for pointing out my weaknesses...I will try to improve on it...^.^

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